The Potty Training Begins

We've thrown down the potty training gauntlet. It's time. Cold turkey, no diapers style, because that's how it's gotta be with Dex.

Dex can be very extremely stubborn. Especially when it comes to transitions, or doing something new that wasn't his idea. Curious: he's my adventurous eater - he's not necessarily afraid to try new things, but they certainly need to be on his terms.

And the truth is, diapers are convenient for him. He can go to the bathroom whenever he pleases, where ever he pleases, and I'm sure it feels like a giant you want me to do what?! to him to have to learn to use the potty.

We've been reading books about the potty. Once Upon a Potty was his favorite when we checked it out from the library a few weeks ago. We talk about using the potty all the time. We like to make lists of who uses the potty and who doesn't.

I've been itching to get this child out of diapers, but at the same time, wanted to wait until he was ready, mainly because I know how hard he is to change direction. We tried for almost a day a few months ago, and he clearly wasn't ready. He couldn't hold it, would pee a little bit every 5-10 minutes, and there were a lot of panicky tears on his part.

But recently he's gotten in to the habit of taking off his pants and his diaper at nap time and sometimes at night time. He wakes up dry when this happens. Aha! So he can hold it now.

I told him the last time this happened that he needed to keep his diaper on, unless of course he was all done with diapers, and ready to go in the potty like a big boy, which is what his choices were showing me. And that if he did it again, we would have to say goodbye to diapers and learn to use the potty.

This happened again yesterday at nap time - I woke him up after a 3-hour nap and he was naked as the day he was born, and yet dry. We had a Cheerful yet Firm conversation about how he was a big boy now and that we were all done using diapers. Frankie got really excited for him, and helped him pick out some undies.

We have a multi-tiered plan:

1. No diapers. Not at night time, or nap time. Because Dex is the kind of kid who needs an all or nothing plan - if he seems some wiggle room in the plan he will extort that loophole (I'm guessing he would learn to hold it all day until naptime and bedtime and then let it rip - not really the toilet training we had in mind).

2. One chocolate chip if he sits on the potty - this is already becoming unnecessary, but was Very Necessary the first few hours.

3. One more chocolate chip if he does anything in the potty - even a few drops.

4. A sticker if he does anything on the potty, and once he gets 15, he gets a new Thomas Train (which was what he thought he'd like).

5. No punishment for accidents, but an encouraging "That's okay! Let's go try on the potty!"

6. Time outs for refusal to try and sit on the potty, and if he can't calm down while on the potty. He usually needs to sit on the potty for 2 minutes, calmly. Because really, he's not going to go if he's hysteric. I see this as willfull disobedience, which is actually separate from potty training. I know many experts say you should make the potty training experience nothing but positive, but this worked with Frankie, after months of the positive only method failing. Note there's no punishment for accidents, or not going on the toilet, just not being willing to sit on the toilet.

We're 24 hours in, and he proved he could hold it yet again - holding his pee at least 5 and then again 7 hours at a time. And the time he did go last night, he snuck off downstairs for a few minutes while Chris and I weren't looking. Because with Dex, he's stubborn like a fox, and he figured if he could just hold it, he wouldn't have to pee on the toilet at all.

He'd had 6 accidents and no actual pee in the potty after 23 hours, and I was starting to get really despondent when he had his first bladder-emptying pee in the toilet right before his afternoon nap! Wohoo! I actually cried tears of joy I was so happy. He can do it! My little boy will learn to use the potty!

Please pray for us, for me, that I will not falter in my plan, and that he will chose to use the potty cheerfully. Because that part I know from experience I can't make him do. He's got to chose to go on his own. I can put him on the potty, I can make sticker charts and Frankie can cheer lead until we're blue in the face, but he has to chose to go. There are so many parallels to salvation here, and it's clear to me how much we need the Holy Spirit on this one. Come, Lord Jesus, Come.