In the last months Frankie's night wakings have become more and more frequent. I'd estimate I'm up with her at least once in the middle of night soothing her, getting her a drink of water, or convincing her to go back to bed 4 times per week. The worst is when she falls out of bed, and is mostly asleep still, and just screams and cries for a while until she's calm enough to go back to bed. This still happens every once in a while, and we've taken to putting a rather large pile of pillows and a comforter at the bottom of her bed so she falls on those rather than the hard floor. I still stubbornly refuse to put bed rails on. I just think she's gotta learn to stay in bed.
Anyway, this is tiring, but somehow after having lived through 2 newborns, back to back, it doesn't seem so bad. Dex is a champion sleeper at night right now - not even a fire alarm would wake that kid. The other night I went to soothe Frankie, and realized Dex had a dirty diaper. He tends to get a diaper rash at the drop of a hat, so I reluctantly picked him up, changed his diaper, and put him back in bed. The kid never woke up.
Last night was different though. She woke 3 times terrified. I've never seen her so hysteric. The first time she was convinced there were monsters in the room. I opened her window shade to let some light in, and brought the nightlight in from the bathroom. I inspected the room with her supervision to show her that the monsters were not there, but Dex was (sleeping through all of this like a champ), and he would be there to help her. We prayed, she drank a glass of water, and she finally calmed down enough to go back to sleep.
An hour later she woke again, terrified of the monsters again. After she calmed down a little from the initial hysterics, she looked at me and asked if I was Maleficent (the witch from Sleeping Beauty, which she knows about from a book she has). I was so heart-broken by this. We went through the routine again, and she went back to sleep.
Around 5am she woke again, screaming. I went into the room, and she was huddled in the corner of her crib, pointing at the rice-filled "heating pad" in her bed (she often asks to sleep with it when it's cold, and I had re-heated it for her after the last round of hysterics) and screaming that there was a snake in her bed.
Frankie has been sick the last few days, probably with Croup, and while she is coughing that horrid goose-honk cough from time to time, seems in pretty good spirits. By 5 am she seemed to be spiking a fever, so I gave her some Motrin. She was able to fall back asleep, and was still not up by the time I left for work a little before 8.
I'm not sure what to make of this. I'd like to think it's fever-induced nightmares and delusion that will be temporary since she won't always have a fever. But I'm worried it's developmental. What can I do if these don't go away?
Thursday, January 21, 2010
Things that go bump in the night
Posted by Jenny at 11:46 AM
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6 comments:
poor frankie! Nathanael wakes up once a week or so, I'd estimate, with nightmares and occasionally doesn't want to go to sleep at night because he's afraid. the 'tricks' that have worked for us are a nightlight and 'monster spray' which is an old bottle of scented spray I have from bath and body works. We spray it and say, 'bye bye monsters, bye by scary dinos' etc, whatever is scaring him. The scent is supposed to help because even when you're gone, they can smell it and know that they're safe.
I hate nightmares. Hoping this more serious round is just from fever and that frances gets better soon!
I don't know anything about kids over the age of 8 months, but I will say that I personally always have nightmares when I'm hot/have a fever. I also want to applaud you for not caving in and letting her sleep in your room. I would've done that after the second waking, I'm sure! - Beth
There's info about night terrors and nightmares in "Healthy Sleep Habits..." E never had regular scared wakings, so I'm not sure if the book will be helpful, but maybe some hints/tips.
Kristen, I LOVE the monster spray idea!!
We pray each night with Elizabeth that God would protect her from bad dreams. Not that it's a magic potion or anything, but it does cause us both to trust God to protect her little mind, even when she's sleeping. (And only recently, when we were praying one night, did it occur to me to thank God for all of the times He protects her from bad dreams!)
i've never dealt with this before, but i've heard a few things that may help:
1. the sooner you soothe a toddler with nightmares the better, rather than letting them cry it out. reassuring them things are safe helps them fall asleep quickly.
2. nightmares are usually associated with stress, which may be because of the sickness, but in frankie's case may be cropping up now because rachel just left. she had quite a bond with her. maybe some time processing her relationship with rachel, drawing her a picture and sticking it in the mail or something may help. i've heard that parents who try to relieve a kids daytime stress will help reduce their nighttime stress (as seen through nightmares). you may tolerate behaviors and deal with them when the stress subsides a little (pick and chose battles)
personally, i do think nightmares are developmental as kids show imaginative play, but repeated nightmares are different and probably sprout from a different source (again, my ideas, not necessarily something to hang your hat on). try to think if there are new demands, stress, or other things that might cause frankie anxiety during the day. she is smart, but not self aware enough to communicate about her emotional state beyond things that make her happy/sad/mad. stress and anxiety are very hard to understand as adults, and even more for a toddler.
i will be praying for you dear friend and for sweet frankie!!
Dear friends, thank you for your suggestions and support. Sarah, I think you may be on to something that the stress of all the transition we've been going through is coming out at night too. I had been prepared for (and we have seen) the transition come out in bathroom-related accidents, disobedience (do the rules still apply now that Grazi is here and Rachel is leaving?), and general sensitivity, but I hadn't thought that they would come out as nightmares.
She's doing better - the second night was still rough, at least getting her to sleep, but she was still really sick, and had a fever on and off until Friday afternoon. Friday night she went down without fear, and slept through the night.
We also have always prayed every night that Jesus would be in the room, and protect Frankie and Dexter from... (Frankie fills in this part: usually monsters, dinosaurs, dragons, snakes, etc). Heather, I've now added the additional greeting in the morning of: Frankie, did Jesus protect you from Monsters last night? Yes?! Let's thank him for answering our prayer. And Kristen, she also really likes the monster spray. Funny, because she's been so stuffed up that she can't actually smell it, but she likes the idea of it!
Thanks for the update Jenny; cool that you could combine suggestions from so many! :)
It makes me tear up thinking about our kids learning about Father/Son/Spirit loving and protecting them! (I still don't get it for myself....)
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