A list of fun

We have had a few small wins in the last two days, for which I am quite thankful. Frankie is responding quickly to the change in my response to her whining, and the whining has drastically reduced to a manageable level, and I think I've only been screamed at once or twice today. We are both in much better spirits as a result.

She also ate some avocado that I hid in her grilled cheese today! I made her grilled cheese with cream cheese, which she loves, and the avocado must have been sufficiently smothered in cheese because she even picked up pieces of avocado that had fallen out of the sandwich and ate them. It took considerable will power to follow Melanie's advice and not race around the kitchen table with my arms up for a victory lap. I tried to act very nonchalant. Cool as a cucumber.

All this has helped me feel much more charitable towards myself as a mother, and towards my daughter and I realized as we played today that I should share with you some of the fun things she's been up to recently.

• She understands a great deal of what we say, and follows simple directions readily. When she finds objects on the floor that I help verify as trash, we walk to the kitchen trash can to throw them out together. She can point to her nose, hair, eyes, shoes, teeth and head when asked, as well as other people's. She will point to people she knows when you ask her where they are. She even identified Hannah today in a picture that had several other children in it.
  
• The words are coming fast and furious these days, although most of them make fleeting appearances. I tell myself that she's just storing these words up for when she's ready to use them. Just now she came in and said "night-night" and then "bye". She can say "ball", and "car", "baa", "moo", "woof-woof", "doggie", "maisy", "keys", "fishy", "hug", "vroom-vroom", "daddy", "mama" (yes! she's started saying it, although it's only been a handful of times - each of which I treasure).
• She gives hugs and kisses. The kisses are quite funny - open mouth, and she always makes a bee-line for our mouths. Which is funny because we don't kiss her on her mouth. We're trying to encourage her to give more socially-appropriate pecks on the cheek.
• She has been working on her dance moves. She can stomp her foot, twirl, "bow" (this is hilarious - it's from Sandra Boynton's Barnyard Dance book where they bow to the sheep, bow to the cow - she nods her head and closes her eyes very deliberately). She took a dance break today at Costco to do some deep squats to the "Baby don't hurt me" snippet that was playing from a CD display.
• She still loves her necklaces and accessories. Pawpaw just sent her a Red Sox hat that she wears proudly. She loves to pull my orange bikini from the bottom drawer of my closet and put the pieces around her neck and wear them for as long as I'll let her. Today she managed to get them around Maisy's head, and our poor sweet dog just sat there with a look on her face that said "is it over yet?". Oh Maisy, I think it has just begun.
  

Whining and Crying? Oh yes.

I'm sorry for the long absence, which I must first explain to be that I have been waiting post until I'm able to upload some great pictures I've taken over the last 10 days from my camera to the computer, but our hard drive is full. Just before the HD filled up, we finally decided on a backup solution (Elephant Drive from Amazon if anyone is interested) that would allow us to do backups off site, and use our current external HD for media storage (which we've been using as our backup drive). The inital backup takes weeks, since it's over the network, and we're waiting for it to finish transferring our pictures before trusting to remove one of the copies from our external or primary HD. Okay, so I'm pretty sure by now I've bored everyone but Jeff, so I'll keep moving. In summary, there will be picture-free posts until the backup finishes, which hopefully will be before baby boy comes.

Frankie had her 15-month well visit this week, and she's a whoping 20 lbs, 13 ounces. That puts her in the 20th percentile for weight, and our pediatrician said we don't need to start worrying, yet. Note the yet. That means momma has started to worry. How to fatten up a picky eater who subsists on pears, peas, chicken nuggets, nutri-grain bars, and oatmeal? She's even dropped off a lot of her cheese eating. Heather and I tried to brainstorm foods that would fatten her up, and I've tried most of them, but she refuses to eat any of them. I know I need to keep trying with her, but it is painful to watch avocado go to waste. Sarah suggested sneaking it in to her grilled cheese, which she does often eat, and we will try this tomorrow. The pediatrician did reassure me that we're doing all the right things to set good eating habits (regularly-timed meals, family dinner where she's served what we're eating, the offering of healthy choices). Sigh. Why do I have a feeling that she'll go through a phase in the future of wanting to eat nothing but grapes, or orange foods, or hot dogs, and that we'll have to put her on those Carnation instant breakfast protein shakes?

One of the other questions the pediatrician had for me was whether or not there was a lot of whining, crying, and tantrums throughout the day. Yes, yes, and yes. It got decidedly worse this week, which has me particularly concerned considering that baby boy should be here in less than 4 weeks, at which point I'll have even less time to try and decipher if she's growling at me and growing red in the face because she wants more to eat or wants me to read her another story, or just wants me to pay attention to her. In the last two days it's gotten so bad she's started screaming at me.

I feel that I have tried patiently to communicate with her and respond in a gentle, respectful tone that I wish her to emulate, but it's clearly not working. Starting today I have chosen to completely ignore any noise that sounds like a growl, scream, grunt, or whine, and I wait for her to use her words. For a while I was encouraging her to use her words while she whined at me (which just means if she makes any noise other than a horrible one I pay attention and try and figure out what she wants), but now I am ignoring her until she makes one of the alternate noises.

Sarah has also been helping me teach her signs, which we have made some progress with. We're starting with "more". I had a training session with her today and a bowl of ice cream (killing two birds with one stone, fattening the kid up and working on her communication), and by the end she was making some progress, and even signed "more" a few times at dinner.

I'll let you know how it goes. It's requiring a lot of patience and strength of will that most days this 36.5-week pregnant momma does not seem to have.

Cramps, Ligament Pain, Labor, or Braxton Hicks?

The pain I was having yesterday could have been any of these my OB told me today. I had some pretty intense localized pain yesterday on my left side, which did subside as I rested, but did not go away completely. I became particularly concerned when it started radiating to my back and become less localized. I was still feeling some pain this morning, so was glad I had a scheduled appointment with my OB already. We're still over 5 weeks out, and I want to do everything I can to make sure this baby is born as close to his due date as possible. My OB told me that even if I decided to just lay down for the next three weeks and not lift a finger, he was still going to come when he wanted to come at this point. After feeling my belly she wasn't particularly concerned, and told me to go about my business as usual, but to rest and try not to lift heavy things (like my 15-month old) unless it was necessary.

So we ran errands after my appointment, and I'm actually feeling better now than I was last night, which is a good sign. I panicked a bit last night when I realized that I really wasn't ready to bring a baby home quite yet. I feel ready now. We have newborn diapers, size one diapers, new bottles (Chris got to reading about the BPA stuff, and got worried, so new bottles were in order), a box of those uber-convenient 4oz. formula packets, and just in case Dexter likes them and therefore sleeps longer, a new pack of pacifiers.

With all we've had going on with the house purchase, the upcoming move, and the fact that I've been feeling great this pregnancy, I had been haughtily (foolishly?) assuming he would just arrive on or around his due date. The past 24 hours have been a good reminder that I am not in charge!

And now for a Frankie Photo moment: she decided to wear some painter's tape like an anklet all morning last week. Heather and I thought it looked a lot like a shackle.

Pawpaw visits

My dad was here for a brief visit this week while he attended some training in the Boston area. It was such nice timing; he got to see the new house yesterday during the inspection, which went really well, by the way. Frankie loves her Pawpaw!


We are sick again, Frankie and I, with colds. We both took naps this morning, and she's on her way down for her second nap. I think Momma will too. We'd been healthy for three whole weeks - I guess we were due, right?

Oh, and I've been meaning to blog about this since the first time I saw it happen, but when we were just out for a walk to the post office, we passed the Al Hoda Meat Market as usual. They were unloading some skinned lambs (maybe goats? hard to tell - do people eat goat meat?) to the market, which is always a little disturbing to see. I know where meat comes from and all that, but I feel that in America it's easy to forget. This particular market doesn't have a back loading area, so they bring the meat in the front door off the street. The most disturbing part about all of this? The fact that both times I've witnessed it, the meat is being pulled from a rented Budget truck. Man, I'd hate to be the next person who rented that truck! And no, we have never purchased meat from this particular market, although I'm sure it's probably fine.

Under Agreement

We are moving to Dorchester! We are under agreement as of Sunday on a single family home in Boston. We couldn't be more excited. The house is a beautiful Victorian built in 1885, and I'm overwhelmed with the amount of space we're soon to have. The best part is that the house is done. No renovations necessary. No new bathrooms to install, no outdated kitchens to rip out, not even a lick of wallpaper to steam off the walls.

We're set to close May 30th. Yes, I'm due June 16th. Yes, we're going to try and move in before baby boy comes. Yes, we're crazy.

We decided to rent out our condo, and were pleasantly shocked when it rented in less than 8 hours after a posting on Craig's List. We feel confident that our future tenants will pay the rent and not trash the place, but we'll see how it goes!

Frankie and I went to the Museum of Science a few weeks back with some friends, and I never posted pictures. We, as always, had a great time!

Frankie tried on the squirrel and jaguar coats at the same time.

Hannah and Frankie with the contents of the "sounds" box. This is a hilarious picture because it really sums up their two personalities and their relationship. Hannah is a fun-lovin', noise-lovin' girl, while Frankie approached the sound box with a serious, meticulous desire to test each sound toy individually. She looks a little stunned in this picture!

Nathanael and his Mama, Kristen. They are leaving tomorrow to move back to Texas, and we are so sad. We will miss you so much, Polk family.

Where have the McFaddens been, part II

We are no longer sick! Thank you for all your prayers. We have been healthy for 2 whole weeks now, and I'm sure you're wondering what my excuse is this time for not posting pictures of my adorable girl. The excuses are many, none of which you may find compelling, but I will provide them, if nothing else, to explain what we've been up to.

We have been working hard to finish our closet project, which is done! Chris and Jeff Derrick installed the barn door hardware brackets on the wall this Saturday after doing lots of measuring, remeasuring, and calculations probably involving logarithms and square roots, etc. I painted the wall red to match the rest of the walls in our bedroom; we were pleasantly surprised to find that Benjamin Moore's My Valentine paint was the same formula as it was 4 years ago when the other walls were painted, and you can't tell that one wall was just painted. I whole-heartedly recommend this color red if anyone is looking for a good red - not at all orange.

Sarah and Jeff Murry came over Sunday to help finish painting the doors white, and Jeff and Chris installed the doors on the wall. We're so happy to have this project done! We loved the way it turned out.

Please ignore the armoire - that is not its permanent home.


Much of the rest of our time has been spent researching housing, and going to look at houses. That's right, the McFaddens may move in the coming months to Dorchester (which, for those of you who don't live in Boston is a neighborhood of Boston). The reasons for this move are many-fold, not the least of which is much more house for your money. I have been wrestling over the last 6 months or so about how I want to raise my kids, and where the best place to do that might be. The sad truth is that if we want me to stay home with our kids (which we do) we just don't feel that we can afford to stay in Cambridge. People with more kids and less money than we have do it, of course, but I just don't think it's a choice we want to make.

I have been researching Dorchester since December, because Dorchester is not a neighborhood you move your family to without doing your homework. Dorchester is where much of the gang activity and violent crime in Boston happens, and rightfully has a bad reputation. The part I've discovered though, is that Dorchester is large, and that are are plenty of pocket neighborhoods that are considered quite safe. Many people who live there are quick to point out that the violent crime that happens is not random. It's criminal on criminal, gang member on gang member, drug dealer on drug dealer.

Friends and family, I know that some of you will be worried for us if we move there, and I understand that. But we are choosing to not live in fear, but rather in the freedom that Christ brings us. Our lives are in the hands of the Father and no matter how hard we try we cannot make this unsafe, sinful world perfectly safe for ourselves and our children. There is a fine line between being irresponsible and choosing not to live in fear, but that is why we pray for wisdom, and have done our homework. We've looked at crime stats, we've walked the neighborhoods where we're thinking of moving, both in the day time and the night, and we feel that this could be a really good fit for our family.

We are excited about getting involved in the community there, which from my small scratchings on the surface seems to be rich with opportunities for us and our children. Our church, Christ the King, recently planted a church in Dorchester, which we could walk to from the houses we're looking at. I am excited about possibly sending our kids to Boston Public Schools, which offer many schools for all kinds of learners, and has some of the best public high schools in the country. There is a YMCA in the area that just got a face lift with an indoor pool where the kids could take swimming lessons. The houses we're looking at are all under 10 minute walks to the red line T, which means we can easily get downtown or back to Cambridge without having to drive and find parking. Did I mention it's also a mere 3 miles from Chris' work? How wonderful it would be to have him home in 10 minutes rather than 45.

The more research I do, the more overwhelmed I feel at the way God is providing for us. Every concern I had has been answered, many of desires I had for my growing family have been answered. I know that life there will not be perfect, that I will still grumble in March about the long winter, that I will still feel too far away from our families, that I will still probably yell at the dog when I trip over her because even if we have a bigger house, she'll still probably hang out right under my feet, but I have had an immense sense of peace about moving my growing family to this community and area of Boston.

We will keep you all posted about whether or not we actually find a house. It is not a done deal that we are moving, but we are certainly heading in that direction.

And now the moment you've all been waiting for - pictures of Frankie.

Doesn't she look so old in this picture?

This is a video of her chasing Maisy with the yard stick and laughing hysterically, something Maisy found mildly amusing for a short while. If you stick it out until the end, you can hear her say "woof, woof", which is the noise doggies make (and, on many occasions, cows, kittys, pigs, or really any animal).


This morning I was cleaning the stove and suddenly realized I couldn't hear her anymore. I panicked, and went racing through the house looking for her (which, honestly, doesn't take long when you live in less than 900 square feet). I found my sweet girl on her chair in her room reading books.

Where have the McFaddens been?

Hiding. Hiding under our covers waiting for all manner of bacteria and viruses to henceforth leave our house and never return. Last week started with a runny nose and nasty cough for Frankie. Mid-week she had another boil,and after a Dr's visit Thursday she started another round of a different antibiotic. The vomiting began Thursday night with a side of other digestive unpleasantries that continued through Friday. I never in my life thought I would need all 4 crib sheets that Baby Bargains book told me to register for, and we used every last one Thursday night.

Then Mama got the stomach bug Friday morning, which necessitated her staying home from the women's retreat this past weekend (major bummer). Daddy wasn't feeling top notch all weekend, and now has a bad sore throat and cough. I would not have been surprised if Frankie woke up with the Chicken Pox, or Typhoid Fever, or the Mumps on Saturday.

Lord Jesus, we are tired of being ill, please bring health to our home.

I have been trying to find reasons to be thankful in all this so that I do not exhaust myself with all the complaining I want to do. None of these illnesses were life-threatening or required emergency room visits. Frankie and I are feeling better - we even managed to make it to Women's Bible Study this morning. We had a restful weekend, and I even watched two whole movies.

Spring, we are ready for your warm sunshine and the end of cold and flu season.